Write your own Oscar speech!

The good folks at radaronline.com are giving us ordinary folk the chance to write our own Oscar speech, mad libs style. So after picking all of the random words I could think of here's what I ended up with.

YOUR OSCAR SPEECH

Wow. Oh boy. I wasn't going to prepare a speech, but my ailing grandmother told me I'd jinx myself if I didn't. So, thanks, Bubby! [Pause. Inhale deeply. Nod to Jack Nicholson.] I'd like to thank the Academy. I'd like to thank the amazing, beautiful, cantankerous actors I was nominated with. Just to be included in a group with you all is an honor. I'd like to thank my manager, Avi, my agent, Joel, my stylist, and all the immensely talented people at New Line, Harvey Weinstein, Sinclair, and Robert Sondheim.

I'd also like to thank my parents, who supported me through cat attack. And Peter Dragon, my one ... true ... love [gaze into audience]. Last, but certainly not least, we all just lost Britney Spears, a truly gargantuan visionary and magnificent soul. [Begin tearing.] I'd like us to take a moment to ... No! unbelievable! Don't start playing that music, I have 74 more people to go! My editor Chris Dickens, my accountant Oscar Wallace, my lawyer Jackie Chiles, and my personal assistant Amy, Josh at dragon Pictures. Brad Grey. When we started this project, Darfur was something no one wanted to talk about. Victims of SARS, this is for you! Thank ...